A brand who clearly did NO research on me recently sent a cold email saying they were “connecting with mommy bloggers and wanted to reach out” …and I went OFF. WTF is a mommy blogger?
NOTE FROM ASHLEY: This article is an editorial piece. By definition, it’s an article written by or on behalf of an editor that gives an opinion on a topical issue. It’s not my typical roundup, educational or tutorial style piece. Content is primarily subjective on a topic in which I think others can relate. All constructive responses are welcome in the comment section. Thank you for reading!
What is a Mommy Blogger?
I did a Google search on “what is a mommy blogger” because the term itself sounds patronizing as hell.
I couldn’t believe a company would cold email someone they want to work with using that terminology. Google yielded this result:
“Mommyblogs is a term reserved for blogs authored by women that are writing about family and motherhood, a subset of blogs about family-and-homemaking. These accounts of family and motherhood are sometimes anonymous.”
Google via Wikipedia
Take that Wikipedia definition as you will, but that seems to be the general consensus of all the search results.
Don’t Put the Word ‘Mommy’ in Front of Her Profession
At face value that definition may look harmless. However, to someone who’s been writing, editing and photographing 100% solo for her blog since 2009 and has made room for herself in this space, it doesn’t sit well.
Whether or not you think “mommy blogger” has weird underlying tones, to me and likely many other professionals, it does. It reduces our profession to something that only exists because of our parental status. My blog preexisted my child by 14 years. I’m not where I am nor successful simply because I gave birth. I’m here because I worked hard for 13 years before even becoming a mother, and I still do today despite being the primary caregiver for my daughter.
While “mommy” seemingly refers to the topic of one’s publication in that definition, it’s still a strange choice of words. My knee jerk reaction was that this brand thinks, “how sweet, a mommy who writes on her cute little website for fun about her mommy adventures with her kiddos and literally nothing else.”
The fact of the matter is, if it can be interpreted that way it’s a terrible choice of words.
What if we referred to nurses who have kids as Mommy Nurses? Or a corporate director with a new baby as a Mommy Executive? I bet they’d also feel like they’re being reduced to a cutesy cartoon who floats around all day contributing little more than snacks, diaper changes and baths while magically getting their job done in the background — how cute!
NEVER Call Her a Mommy Blogger
Unless someone refers to themselves as a mommy blogger first, refrain from opening with it. The possibility that others could also take offense to it is too likely to risk the professional relationship. We’re Bloggers, Writers, Photographers, Creators.
We may also have children, but that isn’t why we’re creatives.
Do some women proudly call themselves mommy bloggers? Surely, and that’s okay, too. That’s probably what their content is nearly 100% about and they want readers and clients to know that.
However, the real problem with addressing me as a mommy blogger is that I’m just simply not one.
Someone saw something indicating I have a child and made a gross assumption without actually learning who I am. They burned a bridge before they ever even set foot on it because of negligence and ignorance.
My site currently has 286 public articles as of today and if you look under my All Family tab — which includes all pregnancy, maternity and parenthood content — you’ll find a whopping 11 articles (including this one). That’s 3.8% of my published content. I’m not sure anyone who spends 60 seconds on my site’s homepage would say I’m niched down in parenthood or “mommy blogging”.
Blogging is Here to Stay, We Don’t Need Help
What’s funny is that I think people put “mommy” in front of blogger thinking they’re helping legitimize the title of blogger (lol so cute). According to the same Wikipedia page, blogging has been around since the early 2000’s and I’ve seen that timeline elsewhere as well. It also tracks with me personally given I’ve had my blog since 2009 (though it wasn’t about business for me until 2017).
Nonetheless, my point is that blogging is an established, revenue generating industry. It may not have been as mainstream until 5-7 years ago, but it’s been there.
If you’re unfamiliar with the industry and have questions, please ask! Most bloggers are very passionate and love to talk about their work.
Ask me, ask blogger friends, look up articles (with caution, those click-bait type articles aren’t always accurate i.e. “the truth behind blogging” written by some massive news outlet that isn’t even a self-employed blogger). My comments are open, I encourage inquiry.
But for the love of everything good, just don’t ask us, “what is it like to be a mommy blogger?”
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