How I'm Prioritizing Myself One Year After Becoming a Mom • ashleyburk.com

Virtually every new parent loses their individuality to some degree after finding themselves at the beck and call of a tiny human 24/7. Specifically, moms feel this much harder as they generally carry more of the childcare burden. I’ve been no exception to this pattern, and it took me a while to learn how to prioritize myself while still being the parent I want to be. Moira Rose was onto something with this one…

Here’s what I’ve been doing to ensure my cup is full, because you surely can’t pour from an empty one.

How I’m Prioritizing Fitness

Playing sports to stay physically active has always been important to me since college, when sports were no longer a given (a la gym class) and staying fit was up to me. Finding the time was never a huge challenge until becoming a parent.

Individual Fitness Postpartum

When Alexis was a few months old I was able to finish a couple workout programs. She was small enough to be content in her swing, making it simple. Looking back, I had no idea just how easy getting stuff done was in that newborn phase. Parents, take advantage of those first four months!

How to Prioritize Myself and Working Out

Since Alexis started crawling, I’ve been getting on the treadmill some mornings. She has free roam of our basement play area while I keep an eye on her from the treadmill. We also installed an awesome retracting baby gate at the bottom of the stairs, allowing us to get workouts in without having to stop and chase her!

Playing Sports Postpartum

Around five/six months postpartum I was ready to find a tennis group. A neighbor pointed me to a nearby club with a robust tennis program and I’ve been going weekly since. It’s only 90 minutes a week but I truly cherish that time and sweat sesh.

I’m also very fortunate to have a great group with which to play volleyball one evening a month. It’s a little over an hour away, but I grew fond of this group when we lived in Evanston, so it’s worth the seldom commute back.

Ultimately, I’d love to rejoin a gym to have access to group fitness and a pool to swim laps. While that’s a little ways out for me, it’s good to have goals. Time is still scarce, so I’m taking baby steps back into a routine and remembering to be thankful for what I do have.

How to Prioritize Myself as a Working Mom

This aspect of my new life has been a tricky juggling act. At first it seemed simple because she slept a lot, but that doesn’t last forever. Eventually she’s up most of the day aside from two short naps, so uninterrupted work time is rare.

Another personal hurdle: I’m NOT a morning person, not by nature anyway. But in order to get more done, I’ve trained myself to be one most mornings.

On Mondays, for example, I get up at 6:30 a.m. and am out the door pretty quickly. I go to a local coffee shop where I work until about 10 a.m. primarily writing my weekly blog posts. Blog posts are the hardest thing to work on with Alexis around because long form writing takes the most focus. While on the other hand, I can write up small captions and text overlay for a Reel or feed post sporadically in small attention windows. It’s all about allocating specific times to specific tasks.

Work Travel with a New Baby

A new component to my unique self employed role is work travel. Until last November, this component was non existent. However, when the opportunity to attend the Amazon Creator Summit arose, I knew I had to go. This was the first time I was away from Alexis overnight and honestly, it wasn’t too bad. I’m completely confident in Kevin’s ability to care for her so I knew she was in good hands and it made it easy to relax. Sure, I missed her like crazy, but this time to be 100% focused on my work and realign myself as a professional was invaluable.

The hardest part is backing out of the driveway. Once you’re out of the neighborhood, turn on a podcast or playlist and it feels more like you’re just going anywhere else, making the drive a little easier.

How I’m Prioritizing Myself Personally

Prioritize doing things just for you, period. That baby needs you, and needs to see you doing things you love. It won’t all happen on day one, but think about a long game and how you can weave some of those things you love doing ‘just because’ back into your life postpartum.

Go to the Salon

The first thing I did for myself after Alexis was born was keep my next standing nail appointment. It was a few weeks after I delivered so I was feeling well enough to hit the salon. Dad was still on paternity leave so it was perfect timing with not having to find a sitter. I recommend this to every new mom: grab a mani/pedi (and few hours out of the house) while dad is still on leave!

It felt really nice to have a few hours to decompress. That was my very first time leaving Alexis, but who better to leave her with than dad? I’ve kept up my appointments every 3-4 weeks since and it’s been one of the best things I do for myself. It’s tricky to work around dad’s work schedule but it’s worth it.

Not able to get out for a hair or nail appointment? Treat yourself to an elevated hair wash or skin care treatment, or even an at-home foot bath pedicure! I love using my Divi hair serum after hair wash showers, it’s been wonderful for my postpartum hair loss situation.

How to Prioritize Myself: Mom’s Nights Out Edition

Every few months, my best gal pals and I also make it a point to do a girl’s night. That can be dinner, an overnight at someone’s house or a hotel, just something to get all us moms together.

Working through all our schedules can be hard, but we prioritize it knowing that time to ourselves helps us be our everyday best.

Prepare to Relax in Advance

While that sounds counter intuitive, oftentimes you’re most relaxed when you know everything is set. For me, a pre-made yogurt parfait for weekday breakfasts is everything. I make it the night before so I can just grab it and play on the floor with Alexis in the morning. I’m not in the kitchen stress cooking breakfast while she’s crawling over for attention.

How to Prioritize Myself and My Nutrition

Preparing to relax will look different for everyone, but I challenge you to think about what you can start doing in advance to be more relaxed and in-the-moment later. Stop stressing and start making memories!

What are you doing to prioritize yourself amidst parenthood? Figuring out out how to prioritize myself has been a great accomplishment as a new parent. It’s incredibly important, so take this as your sign to get something on the books for yourself today. And don’t forget to check on your partner! No parent left behind, fam.